I am a song

It says in the Bible that God spoke the world into being. It was through his words and his voice that he created everything. In the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia, The Magician’s Nephew by CS Lewis, the lion Aslan is creating Narnia by singing. The sun, the moon, the stars, little daffodils, bears and deer, antelopes, grass and trees - it all comes into being from the different melodies he is singing.

I heard somewhere that recent discoveries actually claim that the smallest existing particle is the sound or sound waves, not the electron or the neutron. When you take the smallest atom known to man and split it up one more time, there is one particle inside the smallest particle. This smallest particle is known as sound or sound waves. Sound waves are the smallest living substance unseen by the human eye that is at the core of every created thing.

All of a sudden this verse from Hebrews 1:3 makes more sense - literally:

The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining (upholding, maintaining) all things by his powerful word.

We are MADE of sound. The sound of His voice. He is constantly speaking us into existence. He has not stopped speaking. Not for a millisecond. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for His words, not only at the creation, but ever since. He is speaking over us, singing over us, keeping us alive. And he has only good things to say about us. How amazing is that! He speaks only life, love, blessings.

He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
in His love He will be silent
and make no mention
[of past sins, or even recall them]

He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

To be like a child

A few years ago I was working at an Elementary school in Stockholm, as a personal assistant to this 8-year old boy that had some type of autistic behavior. My main task was being there for him during recess when he usually got in trouble, interacting with the other kids. It was interesting to follow the kids so close outside the classroom setting as they were playing. I especially remember this one little boy, 6 years old, that was so excited about getting to be responsible for the football during recess. He was the one that was going to bring the ball out to the playground and make sure the ball came back safely again after recess. He was jumping up and down in the hallway as I was unlocking the room where all the toys were kept, shouting: "I want to be responsible, I want to be responsible". That picture stuck with me and I have been reminded of it several times as God is showing me what it looks like to grow up to be a child of his. His burdens for us are not heavy but a joy. And taking responsibility is actually fun and an honor!


Sometimes I am childish in the sense that I avoid taking responsibility for my own needs, feelings, emotions, desires etc. I blame things on my circumstances or on other people. And I avoid stepping into what God has for me, hiding behind lies of unworthiness or other things that might seem more comfortable at the moment.


"Do I truly want to be restored to the full responsibility of a son?"

I found this question in one of the amazing books we are reading for our school: "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Henri Nouwen. Here is another quote from the book:

"Jesus does not ask me to remain a child but to become one. Becoming a child is living toward a second innocence: not the innocence of a newborn infant but the innocence that is reached through conscious choices."

So it is this incredible freedom God has called us to. He has given us the gift of our free will, the freedom of choice. The freedom of being a child of God. But that freedom also is a calling to be responsible!

The word "responsible" really means that we are RESPONDING to somebody! If we know that God is a good and loving Father it becomes our joy to respond to him when he is calling us. And whatever he is giving us from his big room filled with toys we will make sure to take good care of. It all comes from him.

We are all broken

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father, despite having a heart condition, said 'Yes'.

They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together.

One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes' too.

For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island .

Father and son went on to complete the race together. View this





I came across this little video and it really spoke to me about the Father’s heart and our state of being totally dependent on Him. That’s how we can achieve great things - with Him and for Him. Because it’s really He that does all the work! And we get to share in the joy and glory.

It was about one minute into the song that I couldn’t hold it together any more. The lyrics say:

The very same God who spins things in orbit
Runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
The same gentle hands that hold me when I’m broken
They conquered death to bring the victory

That is when I understood: this is me being carried by my Father. That is my current state before him. Crippled, but soooo loved and cherished.

If you are interested in hearing more about this incredible father - son relationship here is a link to a beautiful interview about their life.

Following J

God keeps giving me these fun pictures of what he is like and what it looks like to be a follower of him. Last night I had this thought of Jesus playing piano, a real skilful piano player. Jesus long hair was swinging as he was playing. That made me think of this piano playing dog from the Muppet show, if anyone remembers? It was so easy to follow Jesus as he was playing. I was singing along and he looked up from his keys over and over and took me places with the music, just playing away. And it wasn’t hard at all! It was fun!

I found this video with the piano playing dog from the Muppet show and it totally makes my point. I am that goofy bear that didn’t know I could play the piano! Jesus encourages me non stop and we are just playing together as he is leading. He is good! And it is fun!

Jesus says: - Just play! And I say: - Yes sir.

God and dancing

I have always wondered what it would have been like to grow up in an African family and get together dancing at the sound of the bongo drums around the bonfire at family gatherings... I guess the unison dancing brings a sense of fellowship that is sort of unique. I am sure I have a pretty romantic view of this idea about growing up in the jungle in Africa but nevertheless God was speaking to me using this picture of him dancing over me and it looked something like this. He was celebrating with me, something that had been a painful experience in the past but he had a different view of it and brought healing and restoration to that memory. Now I have a new memory of us dancing together, or it was actually him dancing over me. I cannot make moves like that - yet. He actually gave me this other picture of us dancing together, and it was a simpler and more childish and joyful dance that I could easily follow. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are the guys in red, blue and yellow shirts. I am the little fellow to the left but in my "vision" I was a child that was dancing along lifting one hand here and just jumping up and down to the rhythm of the music like toddlers do. But maybe I will learn this dance one day. I mean, it is not THAT complicated. And later on we can move on to African dancing. Or ballet. I will be the skinny girl that God gets to swing in the air and catch again gracefully.

I don't regret anything

I was reminded today of this old song by Edith Piaf. I always thought the attitude in the song was a bit prideful. “I don’t regret anything”. Who can say that? But today I decided to listen to the song and it completely wrecked me. I listened again and again with tears in my eyes. It is a really powerful song that carries a redemptive message even. No wonder it has been such a loved song for ages. I was surprised when I looked up the lyrics and found lines like “everything is paid for, gone, forgotten” and “my joys and my life starts today with you”. (I know the English translation below is not the best – but still…)

John Mark McMillan says the same thing in his song “How he loves us so”. “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way he loves us” (one of the best songs out there right now on how God loves us. If you don’t want to listen to the whole 9 minutes wonderful version of this song with Kim Walker, go fast forward 4 minutes in to the song to get my point).

It is not that we never have done anything wrong that we would need to regret for, but there is forgiveness and once we have repented we can just move on and forget the past, not dwell on it anymore. There is only one way to go – forward! (Phil 3:13)

Non! Rien de rien

Non! Je ne regrette rien

Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait

Ni le mal tout ça m'est bien égal !

Non! Rien de rien

Non! Je ne regrette rien

C'est payé, balayé, oublié

Je me fous du passé !

Avec mes souvenirs

J'ai allumé le feu

Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs

Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux !

Balayées les amours

Et tous leurs trémolos

Balayés pour toujours

Je repars à zéro

Non ! Rien de rien

Non ! Je ne regrette rien

Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait

Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égal !

Non ! Rien de rien

Non ! Je ne regrette rien

Car ma vie, car mes joies

Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi !

No! Nothing at all
No! I regret nothing
Not the good people did to me
Neither any evil - I do not care!

No! Nothing at all
No! I regret nothing
It is paid for, gone, forgotten
I do not care about the past!

With my memories
I lit the fire
My sorrows, my pleasures
I no longer need them!

Past loves
And all their heart aches
Swept away forever
I'm heading back to zero

No! Nothing at all
No! I regret nothing
Neither good, they made me
Nor evil - I do not care!

No! Nothing at all
No! I regret nothing
For my life, for my joys
Today, it starts with you!